Living Well Today's issue might stress you out...
It's a topic that made me nervous at first. But bear with me for a bit and it might just help you relieve some of that stress...
About a year ago, I revealed my secret to health and happiness – gratitude. Not long after we hit "publish," our feedback inbox was flooded with messages. More than we'd ever seen from a health article that wasn't about cancer.
My team and I were shocked at the response. For example, reader M.G. wrote:
I so loved that you shared this with us. I too start each morning with expressing gratitude and wishing happiness upon those around me and the world.
I sometimes feel that people in business think this is nonsense and silly, but I truly believe that expressing gratitude is what improves our life. It doesn't mean that we won't experience adversity, but it helps us react to it in a much healthier way.
But, until I read your messages, I wasn't sure how you all would react... Because, as M.G. points out, sometimes people hate the idea of practicing gratitude.
In fact, while some folks are happily challenged when expressing gratitude, research shows others are literally threatened by the idea...
A Polish experiment that measured this threat response to gratitude was published in the Journal of Happiness Studies last year. In the study, 196 college students were asked to text messages of gratitude to a person of their choosing. Afterward, the students were invited to do a gratitude training experience from home.
Researchers measured the students' personalities (like depression symptoms, dispositional gratitude, and motivation to express gratitude) with questionnaires. They also monitored the students' cardiovascular activity to establish their response to gratitude as either a perceived challenge or a perceived threat.
Those feeling "challenged" experienced blood vessel expansion, indicating a release of adrenaline (the "energy rush" hormone). And those feeling "threatened" experienced blood vessel contraction, indicating a release of cortisol (the "stress" hormone).
So, I know that writing to you about the benefits of gratitude might stress you out. Gratitude may not be a great fit for some of you right now... But if you're willing to take the time to practice gratitude in your everyday life, you'll be able to improve your mental and physical health.
Let me explain...
Our brains are wired to prevent the emotional confusion that would result from the simultaneous activation of opposite emotional states. So you can't experience positivity and negativity at the exact same time.
Practicing gratitude brings self-awareness and understanding – the key aspects of mindfulness – into reality, through action. Instead of giving your brain a chance to focus on anything negative, it points your awareness toward the positives in a particular memory or situation, connecting you with others who have helped address your needs.
One simple way to start teaching your brain to focus on positives is through objects. We often attach memories and experiences to objects. So the meaning behind an object is what makes that object important, not the object itself.
According to data from a from the University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, those expressing thanks to other people, as opposed to things, were 150% more likely to say the activity made their "whole day glorious."
In my previous issue on gratitude, I mentioned that I'll thank things around me. (For example, "thank you for being such a beautiful towel," or "thank you for being such beautiful raspberries.")
By doing that, I'm not just thanking the towel... I'm acknowledging the comforting "hug" it offers me. I'm remembering my mother wrapping me up in a towel as a small child when I'd get out of the bath. I'm recalling the friend who told me to buy this particular towel because they loved theirs so much...
And while I'm gratefully reflecting and expressing, I'm consciously keeping my flow of thought in a positive direction. I'm choosing to highlight the good bits in my memories and associations. So when negative thoughts come up during this process, they aren't ignored. Instead, I actively reframe them into something that's beneficial to both myself and others.
For example, let's assume I haven't spoken to that friend I mentioned because we had a fight. Realizing that I miss them and want to reconnect, I call and try to repair our friendship. It turns out they aren't interested in staying friends. So, instead of feeling upset, I decide to respect their feelings, and remind myself that most friends naturally grow apart. And that's OK because I'm still glad for all the good times together that we did have.
It doesn't mean that I wouldn't be hurt by this, just that I choose not to focus on the negatives of the situation. It feels so much better to let go of that negative emotion, particularly because it was my choice to do so. And I still get to hang on to my good memories for as long as I want. After all, we can't control anyone's actions but our own.
But it's not just our minds that benefit from gratitude. Studies show that practicing gratitude improves our physical health as well...
A 2021 study used a cellphone application, called My BP Lab, to measure the effects of trait gratitude (the tendency to recognize gratitude-eliciting events and respond with grateful emotion) on the blood pressure and heart rates of more than 4,800 participants. The researchers found that characteristically being more grateful also meant having a lower blood pressure and a lower heart rate for participants.
So this year, I want you to do what I do and take the time to ask yourself what you're grateful for, and then put your gratitude into practice...
Two excellent ways to practice gratitude are through writing "thank you" letters to people (don't worry, you don't have to send them if you don't want to) and gratitude journaling.
And when it comes to journaling, finding your "just right" frequency is important... Writing once or twice a week tends to be more effective than implementing an everyday practice.
So do what I do and mark your gratitude days on your calendar. I like to spend one day a month reflecting on and expressing my thanks.
What We're Reading...
- In case you missed it: Revealing my secret to health and happiness.
- Something different: This mysterious fire in Australia has been burning for at least 6,000 years.
Here's to our health, wealth, and a great retirement,
Dr. David Eifrig and the Health & Wealth Bulletin Research Team
January 25, 2022